gelid

Summer haze descends before summer has even officially arrived. Moderate June temperatures so far now shift toward the hot and humid. Thankfully, the weather is not intolerable yet. I want to avoid putting in my air conditioner for as long as possible. A minor part of this thought is the electric bill. Of course, when the AC is humming for hour after hour, the ineludible Con Edison bill goes from an inconvenience to a burden. But it's more than that.

My view will be blocked by the clunky machine in the bedroom window. After all, the bedroom is where I spend much time -- here at the desk, on the computer, writing. I read in here. I listen to music. And, of course, there's the other central purpose of the bedroom -- sleep. The living room and adjoining kitchen go without the AC. I'd like it if I could afford it, but a cold living room is not a necessity (though sometimes it feels as if it should be).

It's about disconnection. Once I've placed the unit in the bedroom window, there is the sense of severance. I am sealed in. No more opening the window. No more box fan blowing the outside in. The view is gone. I am in a box that lends itself to an increased feeling of isolation and solitude. I know, it's all psychological, but those feelings exist. I need the AC to remedy the heat, and to keep a degree of rationale and sanity while the city endures the swelter of summer. But the trade-off is the idea that I have just completed my own cozy, comfortable cell. As if I don't already cut myself off enough from the outside world whenever possible. Self-imposed exile. A provisional gulag with chilled air.

I don't want to miss myself too much. I need to feel as if I keep a connection to the flow of life, even if I only observe through an open window.

paean

Tell her I'll be waiting
In the usual place
With the tired and weary
There's no escape

To need a woman
You've got to know
How the strong get weak
And the rich get poor

You're running with me
Don't touch the ground
We're restless hearted
Not the chained and bound

The sky is burning
A sea of flame
Though your world is changing
I will be the same

The storm is breaking
Or so it seems
We're too young to reason
Too grown up to dream

Now spring is turning
Your face to mine
I can hear your laughter
I can see your smile
-Bryan Ferry, "Slave to Love"

evolve

Angels on the sideline,
Puzzled and amused.
Why did Father give these humans free will?
Now they're all confused.

Don't these talking monkeys know that
Eden has enough to go around?
Plenty in this holy garden, silly old monkeys,
Where there's one, you're bound to divide,
Right in two.

Angels on the sideline,
Baffled and confused.

Father blessed them all with reason.
And this is what they choose.
Monkey, killing monkey, killing monkey.
Over pieces of the ground.

Silly monkeys give them thumbs,
They forge a blade,
And where there's one they're bound to divide it,
Right in two.
- Tool "Right In Two"

We keep killing each other. Through all of human history, we seem to have been unable to find the "civil" in "civilization." We empower thieves, liars, and murderers to guide our lives. We foolishly place our trust with elected idiots who only perpetuate the ongoing entropy and discord. And we tolerate it. Well, not all of us. Not yet.

We can recline in comfort, open the newspaper or turn on the television or computer, and experience the world filtered through our eyes and into our minds. We see the atrocities around us, but they seem so secondhand and distant -- surreal or unreal. They seem such a part of another place, another time. Though they're here in the present, we don't necessarily have to attach those tragedies to our own lives. Yes, vicarious. I don't want to lose hope or faith in the general kindness and lenity of people, but complacency, apathy, and even a sense of misanthropy can drown us in the torrent of constantly updated "bad news." In most instances, some of us who are beyond the strife succumb to a feeling of helplessness. How we would like to do something to end a murderous and unnecessary war. How we would like to consign every crooked politician on the planet to prison. How we'd like to prevent genocide. How we would like to provide food and housing and medicine to the malnourished masses. How we like to see the culture advance beyond battle lines of avarice, intolerance, and corruption.

And if you don't, you have no place among the elite. For example, if you are actually callow enough to believe that "they hate us for our freedom" then I suppose it's okay when soldiers die for a pointless political war. Just because a few delusional and bloodthirsty fundamentalist parasites fly planes into buildings does not adequately justify an international multimedia brainwashing and manslaughter extravaganza, especially when it serves absolutely no greater goal to quell further violence. Yes, violence breeds violence until it blossoms out of control. That is why the shadow of terrorism looms larger by the day. There are ways to deal with the current climate of antagonism without falling into the morass of propaganda-supported mutually assured destruction. Look deeper.

For all of you esteemed elected public officials, here ya' go... it's not too complicated. So pay attention to someone in the proletariat for once. Stay off their hallowed, allegedly sacred "holy ground" and cease interference in their affairs. You suits can continue to purchase the precious black sludge so the folks in the city and the 'burbs can fuel up the Ford Excursion. Admittedly, it's slightly more complicated than that, but I'm not going into my foreign policy plan here and now. This is a blog, after all, not a manifesto. Any politician who wants a face-to-face sit-down can feel free to contact me. If I have the time and energy, I might deign to give you a civics and policy lesson. Does that sound elitist? So what?

Elitism, a term too-often disparaged. No, the word should not to be shunned, though it is often misused -- as if "elitism" should carry a negative connotation. Lose your preconceptions, because elitism is not defined by wealth or social status (despite what the tabloids attempt to tell you). Elitism is a state of mind, when one can rise above mere acceptance of the whatever the mainstream and the propaganda machines direct at you. When you hold yourself to a higher standard, destroy myopia, and ask questions not only of what we're told, but ask questions of ourselves. We must advance and evolve beyond "choosing sides" (be it borders or patriotism or facsimile public officials spit straight out of the corporate copy machine).

You don't have to be liberal. You don't have to be conservative. Or Libertarian, socialist, federalist, anarchist, or a Whig. You just have to be a human being, with compassion and desire. Desire to see change for the better. Revolution begins one mind at a time. Open your eyes. Evolve.